Normal Is Not An Option

 A couple of weeks ago, the Episcopal bishop of Chicago, Paula Clark, visited my congregation and performed baptisms, confirmations, receptions, and reaffirmations. I was one of three adults who were confirmed in the church, so now I am officially an Episcopalian, with my signed certificate to prove it. I surprised myself by how emotional I got during the service. It was beautiful and deeply moving, but I also think maybe it was the fact that it represented my final, formal break from the church of Christ.  Once I left the CoC, I knew I would never go back, but I never imagined formally joining another church again. I always felt nervous about the idea, like I was worried that another church would turn out to be a toxic trap.  But I've been attending this congregation for 14 years and so far, so good. It's not perfect, and the Episcopal church at large isn't perfect by a long shot, but it suits me. I feel like I've finally found a place where I really belong and am trul...

 I can't believe I let almost another entire year go by between posts. When I first started, this blog was all about trauma-dumping ("THIS horrible thing happened, and then THAT horrible thing happened and can you BELIEVE that other mess??!!"), so I needed to post often. But the further I get away from the church of Christ and the less of a hold it has on me and my psyche, the less I need to talk about it. Still, I do want to keep this blog active for when old memories surface and I need to vent about them.  The past 3 years I've been a member of my church's vestry, or lay leadership committee. In the COC, of course, women are not allowed leadership roles of any kind except teaching the small children's Bible classes, so I never expected to be involved in something like this when I was growing up.  In the Episcopal Church, vestries include 9 lay people who serve for overlapping terms of 3 years, so every year, 3 people leave and 3 new ones join. I think it...

Hi, it's me, I'm the problem. The streaming service algorithms know me all too well, because they're always offering up documentaries about various cults. I can't seem to stop watching them. Here are a few I've seen in recent months.  First is Daughters of the Cult on Hulu. It is about the children of Ervil LeBaron, a leader of a polygamist Mormon sect based in Mexico and the southwestern US. There are several such branches of the fundamentalist Mormons (or FLDS) but this one was notable for all the bloodshed. Between Ervil and his followers, there are about 35 murders attributed to this group as he fought to obtain and maintain power. He even murdered some close family members, including a daughter and a brother. I really liked that this series focused on his children and how growing up in this group affected them. It was very moving to see how they have forged much better lives for themselves after escaping the group. Next is Preaching Evil on Peacock. This one ...

 I had a long chat with a friend who is a Catholic priest the other day, and he said one of the hardest parts of his job is coming up with a homily every week. He said that there are basically only 3 homily templates: God loves you, you should love God, and we should love each other. I laughed and told him that many years ago, my sister and I came up with a list of the top 5 sermon topics for COC preachers. 1. Everything Fun Is Sinful      It's pretty self-explanatory: no drinking, dancing, smoking, gambling, wearing of shorts or swimsuits, cursing, or sex allowed. They would also prefer it if you didn't play card games, watch movies or TV, or listen to secular music. If it's enjoyable, it's wrong. Life is supposed to be a vale of tears and suffering until we get to go home to be with Jesus. 2. Here's Why We Are Right and Every Other Church Is Wrong and They Are All Going to Hell     I truly wish I had a dollar for every sermon I endured on why the Baptists...

 I've been debating all day about whether to put that hateful man's name on my blog, but since I really first heard of him through the Church of Christ, it seems appropriate to discuss him here. I've never been a fan of talk radio. The idea of starting my day by listening to two drive-time knuckleheads or some shouting shock-jock yammer on and on about something stupid is my idea of hell. Thus, I never listened to his show and wasn't even aware of him until he had been on the air for quite some time already.  But I knew a LOT of CoC people who were his fans, and boy did they not shut up about it. At one point in the mid-1990s, it seemed like everyone at the church of my childhood was avidly listening to his radio show. I knew a few people in the CoC who were just as turned off by him as I was, but naturally it was his followers who were the loudest and most obnoxious about inflicting their beliefs on everyone else. So it seemed like after every church service the topic ...

I was scrolling through old posts and realized that I've been doing this blog off and on for over 14 years. It does not seem that long, but so much of my life has changed since I first started. Back in 2006, my nephew and niece hadn't been born, my dad was still alive, and I hadn't been laid off twice in one year. I've also joined an Episcopal church and started singing in the choir since then, something that I never dreamed was even possible when I was growing up in the church of Christ.  It has been over 20 years since I finally hit my breaking point and realized I needed to leave that church. The process was full of twists and turns and missteps, but I have absolutely no regrets except that I wish I had left sooner, but I probably wasn't ready before then. The important thing is that I finally got out. If I had stayed, I would have been miserable. There simply is no place in that church for a smart opinionated woman who asks difficult questions. I sometimes wonde...