Posts

Showing posts from December, 2006

You Have the Right to Remain Silent

A couple of months ago, I was accused by someone of being pathologically secretive because I refused to share a certain piece of information with her. I still maintain that it was none of her business, but it got me thinking about the fact that I do tend to hide my emotions and true opinions from most people. Now that my mom is gone, there are only five people in the world with whom I feel I can be completely honest, and two of them are my siblings.

It's hard for me to open up and trust anyone, and I know that it's related in part to my CoC upbringing. I learned early on that whatever you say can and will be used against you. For example, I never told anyone what I was reading, listening to, or watching, because I knew it would be condemned. I never shared my hopes and dreams because I knew they would be disdained. I never gave an honest opinion because I knew it would be disparaged.

I also learned never to admit sin or weakness of any kind in public. The CoC has a tradition tha…