Don't Ask, Don't Tell

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The title of this post pretty much sums up my policy with regard to my family and the COC. I've never told them that I left the COC, and they've never asked me about it. I think they just assume that I'm still going, possibly because I've never criticized the church in front of them or expressed my doubts about it.

For a long time I felt weird about this, as if I'm deceiving them. But where is it written that full disclosure is obligatory with your family? If I'm an adult living on my own and paying my own way, then aren't I entitled to a certain amount of privacy? Also, am I not allowed to make my own decisions regarding church and faith without explanation or apology? My conscience is clear in that I know what I believe and why I believe it.

Furthermore, what purpose would it serve to tell my family, especially the elderly ones who are deeply entrenched in the COC? It would just upset them, and it's not as if there's even a remote possibility of having a meaningful, reasonable dialogue on the issue. There would just be anger and recrimination and emotional pleas for me not to endanger my salvation--and theirs, by extension, since they'll believe that they failed in my religious education and will be held accountable. No, my life is stressful enough as it is. I don't need a COC-related family psychodrama on top of everything else.

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