A Suit That Doesn't Fit

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Imagine that you're a small child, and someone forces you to put on a suit that doesn't fit. The jacket is so tight that you can't lift your arms. You feel strangled because the neck is too tight. The pants don't allow you to move freely. You have no freedom to move and run and jump and play like all the other kids. And it itches.

Now imagine being told that you have to wear that suit for the rest of your life, because God ordained it. God chose that suit for you, and God knows best. God has a plan for your life, and it means wearing that suit every day until the day you die. In fact, if you ever take off that suit, God will cast you into hell for all eternity. Even questioning the suit (why do we have to wear it, why doesn't it fit better, how do we know for sure that God wants us to wear it) is a sin. Imagine how you would feel--bewildered, frustrated, perhaps even angry--over not being able to choose your own suit or at least alter this one so it fits better.

Now you have an inkling of what it felt like for me growing up in the church of Christ. It never suited me, and I never fit in. For a long time, I felt guilty over that. I thought there was something wrong with me, that I was a terrible person because I couldn't just conform and follow blindly. I was determined to figure it all out, to try to piece together whatever it was I was missing in all those sermons I sat through week after week. So I started studying the Bible on my own and I eventually came to the conclusion that I shouldn't have to twist myself into knots to fit someone else's ideas for how my life should be. It's OK to try to find another suit (to continue the metaphor), one that allows room for growth as I strive to become a better person and Christian. Believe me, it felt great to throw that old suit in the trash can.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I have read all your blogs and want to thank you for expressing yourself so eloquently. I have just began hanging out with a wonderful man who briefly mentioned being raised in a conservative church of christ. I have a better understanding of where he comes from now and will definitely invite him to share more of his experience with me.
August 20, 2012
Little Miss Weirdo said…
Thanks for your comment! I'm sure he would welcome the chance to tell his story. Escaping from fundamentalism and legalism can be a painful process.
October 08, 2012
DoOrDoNot said…
I love this analogy! So apt. I saw your blog address from the ex coc forum.
July 11, 2013
Little Miss Weirdo said…
Thanks for dropping by, DoOrDoNot!
July 16, 2013
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