Book Review: Pastrix by Nadia Bolz-Weber
A friend of mine who is a Disciples of Christ minister recommended that I read "Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner & Saint" by Nadia Bolz-Weber because Bolz-Weber also grew up in the church of Christ. She is now a Lutheran pastor in Denver at a congregation she founded, the House for All Sinners and Saints.
Bolz-Weber was baptized at age 12 but left the church of Christ at age 17 and was a Wiccan for a while, a period she refers to as "hanging out with God's Aunt." She said it was helpful for getting past the toxic, patriarchal image of God that she had been taught in the CoC.
She was a stand-up comedian for a while and struggled with alcohol and drug addiction. Eventually, she got sober, met her husband, who was a Lutheran seminary student, and converted to the Lutheran church herself. About 4 years into her sobriety, a good friend killed himself. Some mutual friends asked Bolz-Weber to conduct the memorial service because she was the only religious one in the bunch, and that's when she felt the call to minister to her fellow outcasts. So then she went to Lutheran seminary and became a pastor and founded House for All Sinners and Saints.
Bolz-Weber's experiences growing up in the CoC were very similar to mine. Her comment, "I was a strong, smart and smart-mouthed girl, and the church I was raised in had no place for that kind of thing," pretty much sums up my childhood there. And she writes one of the best descriptions of the church I've ever read: "Belonging to the Church of Christ...mostly meant being really good at not doing things. Not drinking, obviously, not being snarky and sarcastic, not having sex outside of marriage, not smoking, not dancing, not swearing, not dating people outside the church and, of course, perhaps most important of all, no mixed bathing. The better you were at not doing these things, the better a Christian you were. It did not seem to me, even back then, that God's grace or the radical love of Jesus was what united people in the Church of Christ; it was their ability to be good. Or at least their ability to appear to be good." Seriously, that's exactly how the church is. Christianity is defined solely in negative terms, by what you refrain from doing, not by what you actively do to promote good in the world.
Bolz-Weber also has an excellent description of the spiritual violence in the CoC that I mentioned in my last post: "The Bible had been the weapon of choice in the spiritual gladiatorial arena of my youth. I knew how, wielded with intent and precision, the Bible can cut deeply, while the one holding it can claim with impunity that 'this is from God.' Apparently if God wrote the Bible (a preposterous idea), then any verse used to exclude, shame, harm, or injure another person is not only done in the name of God, but also out of love and concern for the other person. I had been that person on several occasions, lying spiritually bleeding on the round, while the nice, well-meaning, and concerned Christians stood above me and smiled in condescension, so pleased with themselves that they had 'spoken the truth in love.'" She is not exaggerating. This is exactly how people in the CoC wound and even kill each other through spiritual violence, wielding the Bible as a deadly weapon.
Not all of her experiences were negative. She did feel a sense of community in the CoC, and she learned about hospitality from her parents, who were very generous and always invited others, even strangers, to share meals with them. I appreciate that I had the same example from my parents. Her parents were also supportive when she told them she was going to seminary. Amazingly, as most CoC parents would do, they did not try to talk her out of it because she's female. She got lucky on that score, I have to say. She points to Mary Magdalene, the first preacher of the gospel, as her justification for being a female pastor and even has a tattoo of Mary on her arm.
Another aspect of her journey to which I can relate is her discovery of the beauty of the liturgy, which is starkly different from the CoC services. She had no idea what the liturgy was when she started attending Lutheran services with her husband, but she quickly fell in love with it and its ancient traditions. Bolz-Weber writes of the liturgy, "It felt like a gift that had been caretaken by generatiosn of the faithful and handed to us to live out and caretake and hand off."
I enjoyed this book very much, partly because I can relate to her experiences of growing up in and eventually leaving the CoC, but also because she is a very funny, engaging writer who doesn't hesitate to put all her own faults and problems on display. My impression is that this book is very honest because, frankly, she doesn't always show herself in the best light. I found that refreshing because I think too many spiritual memoirs end up sounding sugar coated. I'm glad I read this book and highly recommend it.
Bolz-Weber was baptized at age 12 but left the church of Christ at age 17 and was a Wiccan for a while, a period she refers to as "hanging out with God's Aunt." She said it was helpful for getting past the toxic, patriarchal image of God that she had been taught in the CoC.
She was a stand-up comedian for a while and struggled with alcohol and drug addiction. Eventually, she got sober, met her husband, who was a Lutheran seminary student, and converted to the Lutheran church herself. About 4 years into her sobriety, a good friend killed himself. Some mutual friends asked Bolz-Weber to conduct the memorial service because she was the only religious one in the bunch, and that's when she felt the call to minister to her fellow outcasts. So then she went to Lutheran seminary and became a pastor and founded House for All Sinners and Saints.
Bolz-Weber's experiences growing up in the CoC were very similar to mine. Her comment, "I was a strong, smart and smart-mouthed girl, and the church I was raised in had no place for that kind of thing," pretty much sums up my childhood there. And she writes one of the best descriptions of the church I've ever read: "Belonging to the Church of Christ...mostly meant being really good at not doing things. Not drinking, obviously, not being snarky and sarcastic, not having sex outside of marriage, not smoking, not dancing, not swearing, not dating people outside the church and, of course, perhaps most important of all, no mixed bathing. The better you were at not doing these things, the better a Christian you were. It did not seem to me, even back then, that God's grace or the radical love of Jesus was what united people in the Church of Christ; it was their ability to be good. Or at least their ability to appear to be good." Seriously, that's exactly how the church is. Christianity is defined solely in negative terms, by what you refrain from doing, not by what you actively do to promote good in the world.
Bolz-Weber also has an excellent description of the spiritual violence in the CoC that I mentioned in my last post: "The Bible had been the weapon of choice in the spiritual gladiatorial arena of my youth. I knew how, wielded with intent and precision, the Bible can cut deeply, while the one holding it can claim with impunity that 'this is from God.' Apparently if God wrote the Bible (a preposterous idea), then any verse used to exclude, shame, harm, or injure another person is not only done in the name of God, but also out of love and concern for the other person. I had been that person on several occasions, lying spiritually bleeding on the round, while the nice, well-meaning, and concerned Christians stood above me and smiled in condescension, so pleased with themselves that they had 'spoken the truth in love.'" She is not exaggerating. This is exactly how people in the CoC wound and even kill each other through spiritual violence, wielding the Bible as a deadly weapon.
Not all of her experiences were negative. She did feel a sense of community in the CoC, and she learned about hospitality from her parents, who were very generous and always invited others, even strangers, to share meals with them. I appreciate that I had the same example from my parents. Her parents were also supportive when she told them she was going to seminary. Amazingly, as most CoC parents would do, they did not try to talk her out of it because she's female. She got lucky on that score, I have to say. She points to Mary Magdalene, the first preacher of the gospel, as her justification for being a female pastor and even has a tattoo of Mary on her arm.
Another aspect of her journey to which I can relate is her discovery of the beauty of the liturgy, which is starkly different from the CoC services. She had no idea what the liturgy was when she started attending Lutheran services with her husband, but she quickly fell in love with it and its ancient traditions. Bolz-Weber writes of the liturgy, "It felt like a gift that had been caretaken by generatiosn of the faithful and handed to us to live out and caretake and hand off."
I enjoyed this book very much, partly because I can relate to her experiences of growing up in and eventually leaving the CoC, but also because she is a very funny, engaging writer who doesn't hesitate to put all her own faults and problems on display. My impression is that this book is very honest because, frankly, she doesn't always show herself in the best light. I found that refreshing because I think too many spiritual memoirs end up sounding sugar coated. I'm glad I read this book and highly recommend it.
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