If They Could See Me Now

For about a year I've been attending an Episcopal church, and I've been part of the choir for almost 6 months. It has been an amazing experience, filled with joy and wonder. The first Sunday I sang in the choir, I called a friend, who knows all about my experiences in the COC, to tell her about it.

She said, "Were you wearing a fancy robe?"
I said, "Yes, of course."
"And was there a stained-glass window behind you?"
"Yup."
"Well, weren't you afraid that lightning was going to come through that window and strike you down?"
I laughed and said, "You joke, but the thought did cross my mind!"

I sometimes chuckle to myself during church services when I think how people who knew me in the COC would react if they saw me there in my robe, singing up front instead of in the pews, and singing with an organ or piano, instead of a capella, as the COC demands. I imagine their stricken faces, followed by their stern lectures about how I'm sinning by not attending a church that teaches "THE TRUTH" and how I've turned away from the pure milk of the Word. I've heard all that stuff from the pulpit so many times, that I could probably recite all their proof texts and arguments right along with them. I don't mean to mock their beliefs (too much), but I really wish they could respect my beliefs and my need to follow my own conscience instead of having a religion that was handed down to me from my parents. Of course, I know that when someone is locked in that fundamentalist mindset, it's almost impossible to break through and truly connect, so I doubt such respect will ever be forthcoming. Still, I wish they could really see me now, not as an errant sinner, but as someone who is also striving to live up to the ideals of Christianity, but on a different path from theirs.

Comments

eyerollfacepalm said…
I just recently followed the link to this site from your signature on the ex-CoC board, and I can relate firsthand to so much of the stuff you've written here. Glad you've been able to move on from the past and find your own place in God's kingdom, and best wishes for your continued life in His service.
Hey, eyeroll. It's good to see you here. I don't update often, so I appreciate your taking the time to pop over.

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