I Was a Teenage Jezebel

That's not true, but I've always loved the scene in the original version of the movie "Hairspray" when Divine complains that her daughter is, "All ratted up like a teenage Jezebel!" By the standards of our society at large, I was a very good kid who got good grades and never got into trouble, but by the ridiculously perfectionist standards of the church of Christ congregation we attended, I was a source of major turmoil.

When I was 15, I decided that I didn't want to attend the teenagers' Bible class any more. I was the only girl, and the boys teased me viciously. The male teachers (because of course, women weren't allowed to teach boys older than 12, lest they usurp authority over a man) just sat there and did nothing, no matter how much I complained. This had been going on for years, and I finally reached my limit and announced to my parents that I wasn't going to that class any more and that I would be more than happy to sit with the adults. My parents were fine with it. As long as I was in Bible class every Sunday morning and Wednesday night, it didn't matter whether I sat with the adults or the teenagers. So, I started attending the adult classes and never thought more of it.

Several years later, probably when I was in college, my mom mentioned off hand that, when I left that teenagers' class, the men of the church (we had no elders or deacons) had called a special meeting to discuss the problem of me. They were aghast that I had flouted the rules by refusing to attend my assigned class. As far as they were concerned, I had no right to pick which class I attended. And how dare I try to escape the abuse of those rotten boys in my class? I should just put up with it.

Amazingly, my dad stood up for me. He told them that it was up to him and my mom to decide which class I attended, and he also called the teachers out for not stopping the boys in the class from bullying me. My dad usually was very concerned about following the rules, so I was shocked to find out that he had backed me up and defied everyone else.

But can you imagine this happening in a normal mainline church? How shaky is your moral and theological authority when a 15-year-old girl can cause so much angst by just switching Bible classes? How can a bunch of grown men be so threatened by a shy teenager who just wants to be left alone? It's such a dysfunctional environment. Sometimes I'm amazed that I survived without completely losing my mind.

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