Episcopal Women's Retreat
A couple of weekends ago I went with 25 other women from my church to a retreat at a Loyola University center in the northwest suburbs. The campus was beautiful, peaceful, and quiet. If nothing else, I figured it would be a nice getaway from the bustle of the city.
I had never done a church retreat before. The Church of Christ doesn't do retreats, per se. I do remember a women's day at our congregation once where no men were allowed and all the speakers were women. Of course, the only subjects discussed were how to be a better wife and mother because those are the only roles women are supposed to have in the COC. I knew the Episcopal retreat wouldn't be like that, but I still wasn't sure what to expect.
The topic was women's faith development through alienation, awakening, and relationships. Much of the material was taken from a book by Nicola Slee on women's faith development. We also read a lot of the prayers from her book about women's prayers.
I can't say that I had a spiritual breakthrough, but I did have sort of a personal epiphany. During one of the small group discussions, we talked about Slee's prayer for single women, and in the course of the discussion, I realized that I am proud of myself for being tough enough to forge a life on my own. It was never my intention to end up single, but I did turn down some opportunities to marry guys in the COC, and I don't regret it one bit. If I had married in that church, I would be stuck in it and completely miserable. I'm proud of myself for being wise enough to know that I couldn't marry someone I didn't love and respect just because other people were pushing me to do so. I'm still not happy with being single because I want to have someone to love, just like everyone else, but I do feel more at peace with the way things have worked out. Sometimes your only choices are bad ones and you have to work extra hard to make the best of circumstances you didn't choose for yourself.
In addition to my little epiphany, I really enjoyed getting to know some of the women in the congregation better. We have three different services each Sunday, so I don't know most of the people who go to the services other than the one I attend. Another thing I realized over the course of the weekend is that probably 2/3 of the women in this congregation are either refugees from fundamentalist/evangelical churches like I am or they're former Catholics. Only about 1/3 are cradle Episcopalians. I suppose it's because a more liberal church like that, where questioning is allowed and women are given positions of leadership, is a safe space for those of us who have suffered religious abuse. In any case, I really enjoyed the weekend and hope I can go back next year.
I had never done a church retreat before. The Church of Christ doesn't do retreats, per se. I do remember a women's day at our congregation once where no men were allowed and all the speakers were women. Of course, the only subjects discussed were how to be a better wife and mother because those are the only roles women are supposed to have in the COC. I knew the Episcopal retreat wouldn't be like that, but I still wasn't sure what to expect.
The topic was women's faith development through alienation, awakening, and relationships. Much of the material was taken from a book by Nicola Slee on women's faith development. We also read a lot of the prayers from her book about women's prayers.
I can't say that I had a spiritual breakthrough, but I did have sort of a personal epiphany. During one of the small group discussions, we talked about Slee's prayer for single women, and in the course of the discussion, I realized that I am proud of myself for being tough enough to forge a life on my own. It was never my intention to end up single, but I did turn down some opportunities to marry guys in the COC, and I don't regret it one bit. If I had married in that church, I would be stuck in it and completely miserable. I'm proud of myself for being wise enough to know that I couldn't marry someone I didn't love and respect just because other people were pushing me to do so. I'm still not happy with being single because I want to have someone to love, just like everyone else, but I do feel more at peace with the way things have worked out. Sometimes your only choices are bad ones and you have to work extra hard to make the best of circumstances you didn't choose for yourself.
In addition to my little epiphany, I really enjoyed getting to know some of the women in the congregation better. We have three different services each Sunday, so I don't know most of the people who go to the services other than the one I attend. Another thing I realized over the course of the weekend is that probably 2/3 of the women in this congregation are either refugees from fundamentalist/evangelical churches like I am or they're former Catholics. Only about 1/3 are cradle Episcopalians. I suppose it's because a more liberal church like that, where questioning is allowed and women are given positions of leadership, is a safe space for those of us who have suffered religious abuse. In any case, I really enjoyed the weekend and hope I can go back next year.
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